Somebody Save My Life
by Em5
Summary: *Complete* One-parter. How Angel finds out about Buffy's death in season five. Done of course by my POV, to suit the story of course ;) Please R/R


Somebody Save My Life  
  
"Angel? Come on. Get your lazy butt out of bed," the words uttered in a sing song voice by my secretary, Miss Cordelia Chase, were not comforting ones. I am definitely not a day person, it's this thing where I am dead and all, a vampire, if you must know, and considering it was ten o'clock in the morning, I wasn't a very happy chappy. "Why?" I grumbled angrily. Cordy, who didn't actually see my face, went on. "You've got mail." Only three words, she didn't get into it any further. And the way she said it too angered me further still. Now I may not be a computer whiz, but I do know that when you have email, a little voice pops up and says those exact words, in that annoying monotonous voice. I have also, although I would never admit it to anyone I knew, seen the movie, and found it quite enjoyable. But my extracurricular activities would have to wait for another day, as right then, two envelopes were being dangled above my head. I had never seen Cordy this chipper before. Sure, she had been close once or twice before, but her whole body language and facial expressions screamed happiness and joy, over what I had no clue. There was also something about her look that said, 'I know something you don't know.'   
  
It bothered me greatly, and I was about to comment on it when I suddenly realized that one of the letters I now contained in my hand was opened. Just barely, but enough so whomever opened it - my bets were on Cordy - could read it without too big of a fuss. Without my special eyesight, care from my vampire state, I probably would have never seen it. That noted, I had an idea that whatever was in that specific letter was bringing joy to her face, so it had to be good. I looked at the front of it briefly and noted two things. One: it was addressed to me personally. - I'd have to remember to say something to Cordy later about looking through personal property - Two: It wasn't a local letter, meaning the sender was from out of town, I didn't know what to think of that, and more importantly I didn't know who had sent it. My mind flashed briefly on one person, but I quickly pushed that thought away, there was no way, unless.....  
  
In any case, I started becoming as eager to open the letter as Cordy was eager to see me open it, and though as much as I wanted to rip open the envelope open right then, I also couldn't make myself do it. This person had obviously taken a lot of time to decorate it, with little hearts around the edges and the barest hint of perfume. Now I'm normally not into that stuff, period, but something drew me to that letter, willing me to open it but also cautioning me as to not rip it, sort of like, I would want to keep it perfect, the way I found it. Again my mind drifted off to the first person I thought could have sent it to me, and this time I wasn't as quick to deny it. There was something there, something that told me it could happen, even if it was probably only going to be a dream.   
  
With no thoughts in my mind, save finding out who the sender was, I carefully withdrew the letter from it's package, noting that the paper was a light violet, my favourite colour. And again, only one person knew that. I looked at the last words of the letter, it read: Forever yours, this life and the next, Buffy Anne Summers.  
  
I swore, if my heart could beat....  
  
I didn't know what to think as I finally realized that my suspicions were correct, it really was her, Buffy, the one true love of my life, or unlife, whichever way you chose to see it. Suddenly I felt stupid for not realizing it before, her scent was all over it, that was her perfume covering the envelope, and her perfect penmanship that had written my name so beautifully on the front. I was so caught up in her memory that I didn't even hear Cordy clear her throat loud enough to wake the dead (pardon the extremely stupid and therefore unfunny pun). "Angel," her voice snapped me out of my constant daydreaming. "Well," she looked expectantly at me, she had seen me open the letter, she must have thought I had read it. "What do you think?" She asked, clearly excited, but not for herself. "I haven't read it yet," I explained. She goggled at me, a look that said both, 'are you crazy?' and, 'then why haven't you started already?' Getting the hint, I unfolded the letter again, somewhere in my daydreaming I had managed to actually fold the slip of paper neatly and actually put it back in the envelope. Shaking my head at my own, I don't know, stupidity I guess, I took one last look at Cordy, then begun reading:  
  
Dear Angel,  
I know we always agreed to not interfere with the others lives - well, you insisted and I agreed - but I sort of feel the urgent need to talk to you.  
  
I stopped reading for a second, realizing two things at once. First, what I was about to read didn't sound too good, and second, way more disturbing than the first realization, was the letter I was now reading was written almost three and a half months ago, to my complete and utter amazement. I wondered then if Cordelia had seen this, unable to comprehend why it had taken so long to reach me. I had been around far long enough to know it didn't take that long for a letter to reach another city two hours or so away from the city it was sent from. I kept reading, maybe what was in the next part of the letter would help determine why it took so long. Of course I had no idea what she was going to say, but I had a feeling I might not like it, that turned out to be only half the truth.  
  
There's sort of a new Big Bad in town, been here for quite a while actually, and I thought you could help me figure out something. Her name is Glory, and she's awfully powerful, has actually managed to kick my arse quite a few times, but that's not really the point. Said point is that, well, we have no clue as to who or what she is. We have asked the Watchers Council, but you know what a fat lot of help they are. I suspected that you might have a clue, considering you have Wesley and Cordy, and I've also heard you have quite the investigations agency, though I guess now's not the time for congratulations, there will be time though later, I'm sure of it. If you find out anything, even the tiniest crumb, I trust you will tell me straight away, as I know I can trust you, with not only my life but everyone else's. You're really the only one outside the gang that I can trust, which is really the reason I wrote to you. Please, if you can find anything out on Glory, get back to me straight away, but, don't come here, not just yet, it would be much better if you gave me the information on the phone. It involves Dawn, this thing with Glory; I can't get into it in a letter, in case someone reads it. I'm sure you remember Dawn, my little sister. All I can say is, whatever this thing with Glory is, it's gonna be big, possibly bigger than big. Don't freak out, as I know you're probably doing right now, honestly, we have it all under control here, but I can't stress this enough how we need information, any at all. Thank you Angel, in advance, for I know you'll do a great job.   
  
Thus brings me to my next point and the other half of the reason I wrote this letter. As you know I have never been one to beat around the bush, so I'm just going to say this; I miss you Angel, and I still love you, with my entire soul, and with every fibre of my being, I need you. I know you said that I should have a normal life with a normal boyfriend, but the truth is, I will never be normal, I get that now, and if I can't be normal then I at least want to be abnormal with you with me. I know you still love me, because I can feel your soul, as I am sure you can feel mine. I have put off being with you for so long and it's killed me, I've tried to get over you, really I have, but I can't, it's too hard. No one can ever get over their true love. I want you to promise me, really promise me, that when this whole mess with Glory is finished, you will come here, at least for a little while, to talk, I haven't nearly begun to say everything I want to say to you. I love you Angel; I always have and always will, I just hope you feel the same way too. I'll see you soon, I promise.  
Forever yours, this life and the next  
Buffy Anne Summers  
  
Never in all my life have I felt so many different emotions flow through me as I finished the letter. There were clear evidence of tears in my eyes that hadn't quite been shed yet, and I swore I felt my heart beat. The raw emotion in that letter meant the world to me, honestly, lately, more like these last two years, I had been analyzing my decision to leave Sunnydale, arguing if that was the best idea. Now, I had a second chance to make things right. I looked at Cordy with such utter happiness sketched on my face, she looked so happy for me, and I thanked God or whoever would listen that I was so lucky. I was just about ready to pack my bags before I realized that there was still one more letter addressed to me. I realized that this one had not been opened yet, and it was dated two weeks ago. This one seemed more formal, encased in a beige envelope; no drawings on the outside, no perfume, just an ordinary looking letter. And almost immediately, despite myself, I felt fear grow in the depths of my stomach, something just told me this letter wasn't going to be good. I turned it over and over in my hands, contemplating whether I should open it at all. Who knew such a small, and almost insignificant thing could house such great fear, fear for something I didn't even know yet. That was when I noticed to handwriting. The formal loop of the 'g' as it spelt my name. It also had something on it Buffy's did not. Writing saying "for your eyes only, no one else's." Again, done in such formal writing, I knew whom it was from before I opened it, the one person I would never expect to send me a letter, of any sort, unless he was forced to. The one person who commanded authority in just the way he held himself: Rupert Giles, Buffy's Watcher.  
Before I knew it the envelope was torn open and the letter unfolded, it's words almost bouncing off the page to meet my eyes. I could feel Cordelia's concerned gaze hold me, her face holding within a million questions, but I paid no attention to her. I started to read, afraid of what I would see but having to know.  
  
Angel, it's Giles  
  
It said simply.  
  
This is never easy to say, especially in a letter, but, its Buffy. She uh, she, oh God.  
  
It was then that I noticed what looked like tearstains on the pages. Could he have been crying? I told myself to stop reading, but I couldn't look away from the stained page. I hated this, I hated knowing that something was wrong, but unless I read on, I would never find out. I read on, fearing the worst.   
  
There can't be any easy way on this earth to tell you, so, I guess, I have no choice, but to just, well, tell you. Buffy Summers, is dead. She, she died, about a month or so ago. No doubt you read her letter first. If you didn't, I suggest you do now, before you read on. I don't know what she said, but I'm sure she mentioned a woman called Glory. I know she wrote it a long time ago, so you obviously don't know what Glory was. She was, a, a God, a powerful one at that, though you'd probably would have guessed that already. She was ultimately from another dimension, but she became too powerful, and threatened to overthrow her leader, so they banished her to our world, there was a catch though......  
  
The letter proceeded to fill in details Giles obviously thought I wanted to hear. But he was wrong, only one thought plagued my mind. Buffy was dead. Buffy, dead. Buffy, dead. The thought repeated itself over and over like a mantra, refusing to be banished. I could do nothing to stop the thought as it swam around my head, telling me words I could not, no, would not believe. I skipped a bit of Giles' letter and continued reading the part that I was most interested in, how she died; I at least deserved to know that.  
  
......Glory was going up that tower, to where Dawn was strapped, she was about to kill her, before Buffy stopped her, I knew that because the portal had not been opened yet. Whilst battling Glory's minions, I managed to gaze upwards to where Dawn was. I saw her, tied up, obviously couldn't get loose, but I also saw another person, one I knew wasn't Spike, for he had just started climbing the tower a few seconds ago.  
  
I got confused at the mention of Spike, but decided it wasn't important as of yet. I would find him and talk to him later, assuming he wasn't dead already.   
  
Panic struck me as I saw the figure moving towards Dawn, I knew I could do nothing to stop them, I was so helpless at that moment. Then a third figure joined the other two; a fight broke out between no doubt Spike and the mystery figure. My heart pounded then, the figure wasn't good, if he was fighting Spike. Not five minutes had passed before we all saw a man falling from the tower, so high above the ground, it was Spike. He landed on a box of crates, breaking them and then lying still, obviously unconscious. Fighting ceased between us and the minions as we all looked skywards. The figure moved towards Dawn, we heard a shrill scream that stopped my heart and seconds later, a single droplet of blood fell to the floor, that drop of blood that I knew was the death of us all. The porthole opened. Demons came out, none of them I recognized but all I feared. Seconds felt like years to me as we all watched more demons come out. And then, a huge ball of white light surrounded us, temporarily blinding me, and when it ceased, there was nothing, no demons, even the minions had fled. We were all alone. And then I saw her. She looked so peaceful, lying there on the floor, a half smile had formed on her lips, and....and I knew, the sacrifice she had made, she had done it for us, for Dawn, for the world, and no one but us would know that.  
  
I...I guess that all I have to say. We wanted to tell you sooner Angel, we really did, but we couldn't accept it, much like I'm sure your doing the same right now. I request one thing from you though, not for me, but for Buffy, don't blame yourself, she wouldn't want you too, I know that with all my heart. And just try to remember her fondly, much like we are doing here. Feel free to come over, we have already buried her, but I'm sure she would've liked you to say goodbye. Think of her as what she was, a wonderful friend, a wonderful woman, and a hero to us all. I'm sorry Angel, I know you still loved her, but I can tell you this, she loved you too, with all her heart, don't forget that.  
My sincerest apologies, Rupert Giles.  
  
  
  
Life is a funny thing, isn't it? Just when you think you've got it all figured out, something comes along and screws it all up. It's just one giant jigsaw puzzle when you think about it, a thousand different pieces match up to create your existence, but if just one piece is missing, then the picture doesn't make sense, and everything changes. I thought I had life figured out, seeing as I have lived for over 248 years, I've had a lot of time to just think about everything, but, it seems, even a lifetime, or two, still isn't enough time to figure out what living is all about. I guess I never will. But I can hope, hope for better times, when that little piece finds it's way back to the puzzle. I have to have faith, because, right now, faith is all I have. 


End file.
